Don't hesitate to migrate to management if you considered that for at least 1 minute in the recent past. You safely can try it, you won't lose what you know and the world needs better leaders.
That's a quote from the CTO Field guide close to the end, where I try to be reassuring that you can do the move and there will be something waiting for you back home in the IC world.
You really won't let what you know behind - there is an interesting phenomena I saw across the most distinct individuals during this transition. When confronted with new situations that makes them uncomfortable, they strongly believe things will go beyond what they can endure so they should stop trying and get back and happy doing pure technical work.
You already heard a lot about impostor syndrome and Dunning-Krueger effect. These biases may affect how reality are perceived and are complementary. I won't extend the discussion about them here but the chart above will help me to make a point.
The relationship of confidence and competence is important on what we do daily. When you moved ladders, confidence and hope were high even if competence was not fully present. But the 3rd driver was that staying as is was not an option.
Over time, which is implied on Competence development, you will get into the “Valley of Despair” and that's what makes you feel that if you would go back to where you were, the feeling would disappear. The thing is that this curve may be cyclical as you assume new roles and responsibilities.
Being prepared for that can help you hold on a bit more until the confidence is recovered and you feel the effects of the “Slope of Enlightenment”.
What all this has to do with the title - Death by Middle Management ?
That's the other side of the challenge. Once you try to go back, you won't fit in and that's a strong decision - as strong as moving on. Being stuck has no advantage to you but it is a huge downside for your team.
Managers that are not constantly moving create the feeling of low ceiling. Their team will feel the effects, even if indirectly. Lack of involvement, context and growth start seeping in. There is no such thing as a static team, it is a dynamic entity that required everyone to learn and move.
Whenever I see an apathetic team I look up for the leadership. It is common to find that the team was isolated in their confidence that nothing will change or things are good as they are. Organisations caught by “surprise” with reorgs are another side effect - everyone seems clueless why things changed, higher management feels that the decision was the right one at that time.
The disconnection is the in-between layer, the person that should connect the dots but for some reason lost the context.
So enduring and looking for support when you hit the Valley of Despair pays out - find out your peers, mentoring and safe spaces where you can exchange experiences and manage the pressure out. Keep coding or writing. And remember that you are not alone - everyone felt like that at some point and will be there again.
Cheers !